![]() ![]() Then there’s the dog adopted by a rural punk rock chick-they’re the worst-whose neglect is so dire it can barely be voiceovered. (And yeah, that water does look damn scary, for German Shepherd or human or whoever.) There’s the ice-cream loving Corgi (I think) who helps find romance for his over-studious mistress (Kirby Howell Baptiste). This one has the misfortune of having to chase a kidnapper (who’s also an acrobat, given his police-evading climbing abilities) who’s brought his victim to a reservoir, and proves a hero in the noblest and kind of depressing way possible. There’s the German Shepherd police dog (the one in the TMZ video) whose human master is lonesome. Then Bailey dies, and the movie’s next hour is about the different forms the dog takes before finding his ultimate purpose. All of Ethan’s All-American hopes and dreams and optimism are snatched from him, and off he goes to a lonely life at agricultural school. (This is all the more disturbing since, if you’ve been following the cause and effect action closely, it’s strongly implied that the guy lost his job partially on account of the dog’s bad behavior.) Ethan’s envious, resentful football teammate pulls a prank that causes appalling damage. Dad’s hard drinking becomes full-blown shambling and striking-out alcoholism. (Not actually true no “Hangover” writers were employed in the making of this film.) Just what the world needs, “Old Yeller” rewritten by “ The Hangover” team. In voiceover, Bailey says “My butt itches.” Great. She grabs the dog by his shiny, lustrous scuff and scratches under his neck. ![]() Teenage Ethan eventually meets a girl, Hannah ( Britt Robertson), and the cutie is charmed by Bailey, who’s curious about her and her smell. When the humor isn’t overstated, it’s kinda inappropriate. Things move amiably enough, but the slapstick involving rambunctious Bailey (for so is the pup named) often escalates to a level that would get another dog sent to two weeks at a training camp or something. Along comes young Ethan and his feisty mom ( Juliet Rylance) to rescue the pup, give him water, and adopt him, despite the doubts of good-natured but hard-drinking traveling salesman dad. Nevertheless, this idyllic depiction of America when it was Great Before features rogue sanitation workers who come upon a Red Retriever puppy and reckon they can make a few bucks selling it … only they leave it to dehydrate in their vehicle as they go to lunch. Co-produced by Amblin, Steven Spielberg’s production shingle, it begins in a Michigan early 1960’s that’s been production-design burnished to a nostalgic fare-thee-well. And that one dog, the one whose voiceover is enthusiastically articulated by Josh Gad, gets reincarnated a sufficient number of times to fulfill the purpose of redeeming the existence of his former master. No, it is meant to be an inspirational tale based on the notion that dogs exist to be of service to humans. But “A Dog’s Purpose,” directed by Lasse Hallström, who also directed “My Life as a Dog” (not really a dog movie) and “Hachi: A Dog’s Tale” (absolutely a dog movie), is not supposed to be a realistic depiction of the misfortune our differently-individuated fellow creatures fall into in this world. Don’t even get me started on that pig in Bertolucci’s “1900,” although I presume he was enjoyed by those who eventually ate him in the form of tasty sausage. On the other hand, that girl slapping the cat around in “Satantango” was really slapping a cat around, and somehow I don’t think the horse that was standing on the platform of the wooden staircase that collapsed in “Andrei Rublev” got up and trotted away. ![]()
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